Skip to content

Barry and Kiki Present: Body of Proof Pilot

April 1, 2011

After sizing up the pilot of Harry’s Law back in January, Kiki and I decided to give ABC’s new show Body of Evidence Proof a look….so you don’t have to.

Barry Glibb: Onto Dana Delaney! I’m hitting play.

Kiki Lagrange: Heels? I had that raincoat like five years ago. From Old Navy.

BG: She just ordered an autopsy in two hours? That seems a little quick even by tv standards!

KL: “Don’t believe everything you’ve heard about me. The truth is much worse.” Oh no. Another “Loker”

BG: That nurse just wandered off the set of Nurse Jackie.

KL: And that “husband” plays a cheating husband in so many made-for-tv movies

BG: Why is she still wearing her jacket inside the office?

BG: Aw, it’s Kina from the Wire.

KL: Yes, and that dude from Volcano. I love that guy.

KL: Kina looks like Angela Bassett but sounds like Queen Latifah.

BG: Hahahaha. totally! Regarding the dead body: “she’s obviously in good shape.”

KL: Oh dear Xena

BG: “That’s what we do…..the body IS the proof.” Oh jeez.

KL: Dana Delany is woefully miscast

BG: She can’t wink very well.

KL: Didn’t I used to watch this show back when it was called Crossing Jordan?

BG: That was 4 years ago, haven’t you forgotten by now?

KL: Pilots stuffed with stilted exposition are always so unsatisfying.

BG: It seems a bad sign when the commercials for the online streaming of the pilot are for the show you’re already watching.

KL: YES! Wow, this dude sounds like Dr. Mark Sloan (Eric Dane) Wait, hold up. Jeri Ryan.

BG: I thought I saw Rebecca Romijn in the quick clip, but it’s Jeri Ryan, the republican version.

KL: Who’s this black go getter? I guess they couldn’t afford Chi McBride

BG: They already blew their actor budget.

KL: This is paced like Grey’s Anatomy

BG: What’s Christopher Murphey [the show creator] done before?

KL: He seems to think he’s famous. He’s probably a vet from he pilot wars

BG: Here’s come the part where they acknowledge they aren’t ‘doing it by the book’

KL: Ha! “Loose cannon” Is anything at stake yet? Or are we still drowning in exposition?

BG: What, the mystery of a dead body isn’t enough to excite you? She was maybe MURDERED.

KL: When did Medical Examiners in Philly have time to make house calls?

BG: it’s like House mixed with Crossing Jordan, trying to make her all crotchety and always diagnosing….but not as good at either

KL: This sidekick’s identical Eric Dane voice is creeping me out.

BG: It’s getting tender in the rain up in here.

KL: Leave a tender moment alone

BG: Now let’s lightly touch on some feminist rhetoric…

KL: …despite the fact it’s unlikely she’d lose custody of her kid. Ethan looks like a composite of every boyfriend I’ve ever had.

BG: They could hurry up this “examining the body” montage.

KL: Or use a more jaunty musical selection

BG: Are there seriously no single men that don’t get vasectomies? (That is not my area of expertise.)

KL: Or divorced men. Or dudes who don’t want kids

BG: that seems like you could add those groups up to 30-40% minimum!

KL: especially in Phill. Oh, I love this actor

BG: Um, she just said “ball-cutter.” I like his tie, but she’s sure wearing a lot of salmon.

KL: He’s like the real life version of Michael Nouri, the one you actually end up meeting and dating

BG: Hahaha. Totally! Nice smooth move there, doc.

KL: [scene changes to them barging into someone’s office.] Whoa that was abrupt and omnious

BG: ‘Angela was sleeping with you to make partner.’ Oh great.

KL: What where did this suspect come from? Did Dick Wolf teach people anything?

BG: Ok, Sherlock. Or rather, the neurosurgeon-turned-M.E. who dabbles as a detective.

KL: Oh snap!

BG: Hahahahah. there goes your sexist theory!

KLclown horns

BG: I like when she gets smacked down. Can I get a subplot up in here?

KL: It’s like The Closer, but not fun.  Subplot bingo! Well, you are the third suspect they’ve talked to. You most likely are the killer.

BG: Why are they letting her interview again after she mouthed off last time?

KL: Here it comes…

BG: WHAT?! shocker

KL: and round and round we go

BG: Red herring bingo!

KL: Time for an intervention, Seven of Nine style. Get it, girl!

BG: She said profligate. That was kinda hot.

KL: Why wasn’t Jeri Ryan cast in the lead

BG: They totally should swap, Dana could be the Cuddy role.

KL: Delany needs the “gravitas” role. Like James Pickens Jr.

BG: Hahahahaha

KL: Ooh, suddenly black go getter is Cedric the Entertainer

BG: it’s so funny when people disrespect the fat black guy!

KL: Black, fat guy = comedy gold. How long until these other two knock a corpse off a table and get to knocking boots?

BG: “I see you.” Haha. I know you do, scruffy.

KL: Are they both wearing lace fronts? Or just him?

BG: Just him! Hers is a necklace.

KL: Seems like the car accident plot point could have been the first thing they told us about this woman

BG: I think it was implied in the beginning during the quickcut flash back. I love how pilots painfully draw out some exposition and rush over more critical pieces.

KL: This show is the episodic equivalent to Mad Libs

BG: That dude is looking creepy like a fish… a red herring!

KL: Yes. Now she’s dressed like 2004. They have absolutely no chemistry

BG: He’s kinda the lovechild of Eric Dane and the Mentalist.

KL: YES exactly. Simon Baker plays the mentalist, right? I call him “Something New”

BG: yes! Simon Baker has got annoying/sexy down, in that Australian way.

KL: I already don’t like her daughter. 12, by way of 17

BG: She’s got a lot of professionally done make-up on for a tween.

KL: I know right. [Dana Delaney gives a very moving speech about her birthday gift to her daughter.] Cheapskate.


KL: She went to lowe’s.

BG: Worst birthday gift ever – she had a free key coupon!

KL: There better be cashmoney under that key. Did we really need to see her spanx’d fanny? Every single role is horribly miscast

BG: They should put all their characters in a hat and swap. Oh, Zodiac! That’s where I know Volcano dude from.

KL: [the final witness is interviewed.] Really? The wife. This late in the game. GUILTY

BG: Ah, a woman scorned.

KL: Do we really need to walk through?

BG: They are doing it for the people they assume walked in and out of the room during the hour.

KL: Ha!

BG: “Wanna say anything?”

KL: It took us an hour to get here? Kina should have been the lead.

BG: There’s 5 minutes left!


BG: Wtf, why hasn’t the Who screamed yet?

KL: Haven’t they run everything into the ground?

KL: Please, the wife is ALWAYS the first suspect once an affair is uncovered. This combines elements of every procedural in the worst way possible. and too little Jeri Ryan. I love Jeri Ryan’s face. I guess this means she’s not coming back to Leverage.

BG: Wait, Dana’s been working in that office for a YEAR already? But today is the day when they finally share all this info?

KL:  Okay, that BAG IS FIERCE. But this show was awful. Though well lit.

BG: I’m surprised it’s not still going., it took forever to get through it all.

KL: Do they have any more plot points to hammer us over the head with?

BG: On the scale of bad, how does it compare to Harry’s Law?

KL: Worse, which is sad. I mean it doesn’t have Kathy Bates. I don’t exactly consider Dana Delany “tv worth watching”. I can’t even remember what show made her famous, other than Animaniacs.

BG: hahahahahaha. China Beach

KL: Oh that’s right. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single episode of China Beach

BG: There was a period when it was hard to separate her from Janine Turner in my mind.

KL: LOL. Okay, that’s who I thought we were watching all this time

BG: HA. You’re like, oh, the Northern Exposure lady became a doctor.

KL: I was wondering what happened to her above the eye beauty mark

BG: Where is Janine these days?

KL: I feel like she’s married to someone controversial. and possibly religious. I can’t remember, but I almost never recognize her with long hair.

BG: Oooh, she joined Friday Night Lights for a later season! I need to hurry up and get there.

KL: “Body of Proof” has no interesting characters except Jeri Ryan. And Zodiac, though he’s mostly playing a trope. And my composite boyfriend who is also a Beta Male trope with hipper glasses

BG: Ha! Maybe he’ll come back. Unless he was just a utilitarian plot point character. Wasn’t he her only kinda friend? And they mentioned her getting a friend ten times, so maybe it will be him.

KL: I hope so because I like when TV shows validate that I have good taste

BG: We want our lives to be reflected, it’s only natural.


Did you watch this pilot too? Do you want that hour of your life back now? (Our friends at Fry Butter weren’t too fond of the show either.)

8 Comments leave one →
  1. April 1, 2011 3:22 pm

    They are doing it for the people they assume walked in and out of the room during the hour – about 95% of the audience, judging from your rundown. The other 5% were asleep by the first ad break.

    • April 1, 2011 8:11 pm

      seriously, gregory, I was watching it online and occasionally would tab away to another site and forget that I was supposed to be paying attention.

      • April 1, 2011 10:33 pm

        Baaad Barry! There’s a place of punishment for the lazy reviewer, don’t you know?

  2. April 2, 2011 9:25 am

    This show was so scuzzy and wrong I needed a shower afterwards.

  3. April 2, 2011 10:17 am

    Call me old school, but I don’t think there’s ever been a ME show to top Quincy. Though I’d watch Jeri Ryan commentate golf — why has this woman been so underutilized?

  4. April 3, 2011 9:51 am

    >When did Medical Examiners in Philly have time to make house calls?

    They would have lost me right there.

  5. karen permalink
    April 3, 2011 9:39 pm

    This show was so confusing. couldn’t tell if the focus was on the case or the characters. neither of which were very interesting.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: