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“Why Do I Always Have To Cry?” The Bachelor Season Finale

March 15, 2011

The montage recap of Chantal and Brad, then Emily and Brad. Cut to Cape Town, South Africa and Brad standing on another balcony, contemplating the view. His family arrives and Brad loses it. His twin brother Chad consoles the tears of joy. “I’m happier than I’ve been in a long, long time.” He’s 100% committed to a proposal. Chantal arrives and gets introduced to the family. Then the grilling begins. “I have to believe that everything in my life led me here.” She is ready to married on the spot. Chad thinks her impulse “screams she’s in love”. The mother asks how she could fall in love so quick. “Brad was the right person.” “You’re precious.” Brad tells his mom it’s no gimmick. “Chantal’s hard not to love….if everything works out, I will marry her.”

The next day, Emily arrives. “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous.” Brad tells the story of meeting Emily’s daughter, Emily tells the story of the dead husband. The sister-in-law cries. The brothers insist she will be welcomed in Austin, then warn Brad to be ready for instant family. He lights up. “I’ve never in 38 years seen Brad like that.” The brother thinks he’d be a damned good father. The mother respects Emily. “My favorite thing that Emily said to me today was she said he was her angel. Her angel! *wipes tears*” They say goodbye.

The family breaks it down: do you want to be a fun loving husband or a settled down father? They lean towards Emily. “She’s extremely poised.” Brad corners his mom. “You can’t keep your hands off of her.” They give their blessing. Brad returns to the contemplating balcony to act like Chantal still has a chance.

The next day is Chantal’s date. “The wildlife is unbelievable.” She is less pleased when Brad announces they’re going in shark tanks. “That is a little cage.” Great whites circle. They prevail and Brad likes that about her. In the evening, she shows him her map of the world of their love. “I’m ready for him to say he loves me.” They part.

Emily and Brad reunite for their date. They get in a heliocopter. (Drink!) “I’m so happy that I’m with someone I love to be with.” They kiss. (Drink!) They land on the Cape of Good Hope. Emily is absolutely falling in love again. Brad needs to tell her how he feels about her. “My family loved you – loved you.” Emily asks if he’s ready to move on from cool Uncle Brad to a real dad. Emily talks and talks and talks. “I know I have a tendency to overanalyze.”

“I have a lot to discuss with Emily tonight.” They have the most important conversation. Brad blames the wind for conversation earlier. “I guarantee I can love you and your daughter more than you can imagine.” Emily smiles and nods, then grills for the details. “I think I have a pretty good idea of what being a father is.” He doesn’t like being on the spot. “I want to make sure there are no surprises.” “I’m telling you I’m in it. I feel like I’m being questioned.” Brad starts sweating. “I don’t even know what to say.” He walks away defeated.

He wakes up excited, nervous, and overwhelmed. He stands shirtless at the thinking balcony. (Drink!) He weighs the two paths. Chantal gets a montage. Emily gets a montage. They get their own respective monologues. Brad is exhausted from emotions. “So different, so different. But both make me so happy!” When you know you know, he realizes. The ringman arrives with the silver suitcase. “It sounds like love.”

“Unfortunately, there’s still two women left.” He goes back to the balcony to contemplate goodbye. Chantal and Emily contemplate their potential heartbreak, while drinking coffee, journaling. “Terrified.” “I’ve learned a lot about myself.”

Brad is putting on a shirt. “I’m ready to marry this woman.” The getting dressed montage. Chantal wears a dark gown with feathers, like an Oscars dress. Emily is in a tailored cream dress, like a bride.

“No matter how confident I am in my decision, it’s still difficult to say goodbye.” Chantal arrives and they let her prattle on about being the one while she walks the plank. Brad talks about her chemistry and their history and Chantal hears the word ‘tough’ and knows it’s over. “I have stronger feelings for someone else.” He consoles her. “You ok?” She shakes her head. “Everything I’ve said I’ve meant, from the bottom of my heart.” He keeps talking, pausing to wipe away her tears. “You’re an amazing person and Emily is very lucky.” He walks her out. “You alright?” She shakes her head no again. He asks her to believe him. They embrace. She initially says nothing during the limo ride confession cam, but manages to get a few sentences out between crying. “I feel really stupid.”

Brad has a heavy heart, that he can now forget by proposing to Emily. “It is a risk, but it’s something I have to do.” Emily comes down the path and takes his breath away. “Oh Emily, where do I begin?” He begins with the rehearsed speech, and ends on his knee. “I love you.” Flash to the product placement endorsed ring. “I’ve wanted to tell you I’ve loved you for so long.” Emily and Brad montage. They promise forever. And….scene. Except not! After the Final Rose begins. They spend an hour sitting on velvet couches discussing the season in front of a live audience. “Well, this is awkward.”

One Comment leave one →
  1. FriendsOfJuan permalink
    March 15, 2011 6:44 pm

    i want to get one of those ready-made Bachelorettes to be my instant wife. is there a catalog?

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