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“It’s How A Woman Should Be Treated”: The Bachelor Recap

February 22, 2011

Brad reviews the remaining four women. “I want Chantal O. to be my wife…but I do have questions.” Mainly that she is too emotional. Ashley second-guesses too much. He knows Shawntel is wife material but needs another big step. Emily’s bar might be too high for Brad, but he’s going to try. “One of these women is going to be my wife.” He puts on a jaunty cap and gets in the car to go meet families, starting with Seattle.

Chantal is a total relationship person and is still totally crazy about Brad. Her parents are great judge of character and they will give the go ahead on whether she can marry him. “It’s fun to have the tables turned a little bit.” Brad meets a Pomeranian in a hoodie. Chantal asks if his loft in Austin has enough closet space. They arrive at the mansion to meet the parents. Brad tells the story of Chantal slapping him when they first meet and her mother is mortified. Chantal tells her dad she’s fallen for him. The men bond over having brick masons in the family and being estranged from their fathers. “I’d be proud to have him as a son-in-law.”

Ashley is next. “I used to work in the bar, isn’t that cute?” Brad loves lifestyles that are slow. They order poutine (French fries with cheese and gravy). “I saw your crown.” “Spoken like a true dentist.” They promise to stop wasting time reassuring each other. Ashley is proud to bring Brad home. Ashley’s mom sees a connection between them. Her dad has questions. Brad isn’t sure if he can keep up.

Brad is off to Chico to see Shawntel’s family business, the Newton Bracewell Funeral Home. “Death has been a big part of my life since I was a little girl.” Brad has never thought about death. “It fascinates me that you embalm people.” He lies down on the table and she talks him through her work. “I don’t handle death well.”  He survives the funeral home and meets the family. The dad jokes she won’t get the rose after making him lie down on the table, then announces she will be taking over the family business. They discuss whether she can leave Chico. When saying goodbye, Shawntel tells him she is in love.

Off to Charlotte, North Carolina to meet Emily and Ricki aka Emily Jr. She explains her new friend Brad is coming to visit. Though shy at first, she warms up to his butterfly kite. They go back to the house to play Candyland, then Brad helps tuck her in. “I honestly don’t think I could be happier right now.” Except he can’t kiss her with the daughter upstairs. “I think it’s sweet…but if this thing works out, she’ll always be upstairs sleeping.” Emily is trying hard not to be disappointed. She shows him it’s okay to kiss. (Drink!) “I’m ready for Brad to change my life forever.”

Brad returns to NYC to marinate on his decision-making and the rose ceremony begins. Ashley gets the first rose, Emily gets the second, and once again he makes Chantal sweat while Shawntel the funeral director is sent back to Chico to inherit the family business.

Next week, the remaining three go with Brad to South Africa.

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3 Comments leave one →
  1. February 24, 2011 9:34 am

    Off to Charlotte, North Carolina to meet Emily and Ricki aka Emily Jr. She explains her new friend Brad is coming to visit. Though shy at first, she warms up to his butterfly kite. They go back to the house to play Candyland, then Brad helps tuck her in. “I honestly don’t think I could be happier right now.” Except he can’t kiss her with the daughter upstairs. “I think it’s sweet…but if this thing works out, she’ll always be upstairs sleeping.” Emily is trying hard not to be disappointed. She shows him it’s okay to kiss. (Drink!) “I’m ready for Brad to change my life forever.”

    Is butterfly kite an actual butterfly kite in this case or something far more tawdry?

    • February 24, 2011 12:59 pm

      Ha! It was a real kite, which is good because having a child on that show made me very, very nervous. I nearly called DCFS on ABC.

  2. john34 permalink
    February 28, 2011 3:54 pm

    Brad Womack is one of the most charismatic douches to walk onto an ABC set. Kudos for them in finding such a willing hot mess to come through their doors not once, but twice, for the sake of millions of gawking viewers and the advertising dollars that follow their footsteps.

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