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“I Wanted It To Be Mutual”: The Bachelor Week Six Recap

February 7, 2011

“Costa Rica really is magical.” Bachelor Brad discusses how his second chance at love is weighing on his heart. “I’m here with 8 women that I really care about.”  The ladies arrive at the volcano’s edge. Chantal O. gets the one-on-one date, demoralizing Alli and prompting Michelle to wish her getting attacked by monkeys. They helicopter to the longest zipline in the world and “take their relationship to new heights”. A thunderstorm rains on their love parade, but they get back on track.

Back at the house, Alli finally gets a card revealing her one-on-one date and passes the group date crown to Britt.  Brad and Chantal go to a picnic dinner and the rain begins again, “but the night’s not over yet.”  Michelle is happy to think about it raining on them.  Brad and Chantal retire to the hotel room for wine and she enters the room with no pants. She likes him in his “cute comfies” and she’s crazy about him. He brings up Vegas again; she wants what happened to stay there. They kiss. “I finally believe.”

The group date begins and Brad is trying to pay attention to everyone equally.  The group prepares for rappelling down a waterfall. Michelle is upset because she and Brad made a pact to never rappel down anything with anyone else.  Alli agrees to go first. Brad wants a woman he “can have a little adventure with”. Ashley can already see how he’d be a great husband and father. Michelle is visibly pissed. Jackie is afraid of heights but it’s “do or die”. She slowly does. Michelle reminds him of their pact and Brad tells her he saved her for last so they could go together. The other women suddenly notice they are all wearing blue and Michelle and Brad are color-coordinated in red. Now Brad is worried about fallout. Later that night, they strip down and get into hot springs. Michelle wants to go home and f#@% herself. Brad wants to make Jackie feel better.

Allie gets her official date card. “Meet me at the altar.” “This is better than saying ‘love’, this is saying ‘marriage’.” Michelle begins naming names of who should go home. Emily threatens sabotage. They kiss. Alli and Chantal discover a bug and phobic shrieking ensues. Michelle brings up Chantal, but Brad doesn’t want to take two steps back. “Isn’t that my business?” They kiss. “What I don’t like is when Michelle gets pissed off at me for no reason.” He doesn’t hand out a rose to anyone, because he lacks confidence. “If he can’t make a decision, I’ll be forced to take matters into my own hands.”

Alli prepares for her date and looks forward to the glow. Brad arrives with baby horses. They ride off to the entrance of a 40 million year old cave and put on helmets. “I’m trying not to be too scared.” They come upon bats, and then the altar. At dinner, they make copious small talk. “We’re sinking.” He walks her out to the limo. “The spark just wasn’t there.”

Michelle braids her hairline, then knocks on the door and interrupts Brad’s downtime. “What are you doing?” He’s stunned. Sexy music plays. They kiss. She brings up Chantal again. “I can’t do anything right.” Michelle goes down the list of who’s going home. “You’re pretty confident in this.”

Brad is in the perfect mindset for a cocktail party. He and Emily swing in the hammock and discuss their concerns. Michelle is scaring Brad badly. “Now I’m scared.” She says he was asking for it. “I know I’m supposed to be here.” Tears arrive. “I want to be married.  I want more children. I want someone like Brad. I want to spend more time with you.” (Whoa.) Then she tells the girls she stared Brad down and Chantal wonders if that constitutes giving him grief. Shawntel plays the silent game with him. They kiss. And again. Then she reports back to the group and Michelle is confronted. Then Michelle confesses going over to see him for 30 minutes. “We know Michelle has been aggressive since day one.” Awkward silence.

Chantal uses rose immunity to tell Brad that she’s fallen in love with him. “Made my night.” Brad knows this process is working.  The rose ceremony begins.  “I needed each of you today more than I can say…it’s very humbling.” He punishes Michelle by making her be last, but do-or-die Jackie takes that limo ride.

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8 Comments leave one →
  1. February 8, 2011 3:47 pm

    How is it a group date when there’s only ONE DATE??? Why do you have me riveted to this mess? I was waiting for this recap!!!

    • February 8, 2011 4:00 pm

      For the same reason there are always sister-wives, but rarely brother-husbands.

      Sometimes it’s like these recaps write themselves, I am merely a vessel reporting them.

      • February 9, 2011 12:04 pm

        Oh, you mean Ocean’s 11 wasn’t about brother-husbands?

        • February 9, 2011 12:34 pm

          You’re thinking of the plot of “Ocean’s 11 Inches”.

      • Jillamina permalink
        February 11, 2011 4:32 pm

        “Sometimes it’s like these recaps write themselves, I am merely a vessel reporting them.”

        You’re the planchette on the ouija board of reality television.

        • February 11, 2011 6:37 pm

          That’s going on my next business card.

  2. Todd permalink
    February 9, 2011 8:49 am

    This show is losing some of its luster. Wasn’t there a season where someone gave the bachelor oral sex in the bushes?

  3. razor50g permalink
    February 13, 2011 5:29 am

    thanks

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